Sunday, July 31, 2005

I'm a crier. I've know it for a long time now, my sister tells me its got something to do with being a Capricorn, but i think it has more to do with being me! So that will explain why i've been in my little room crying my guts out for the last hour or so. It's ranged form raking sobs to what i have now, silent tears that make it hard to see the Keyboard. I don't know really why i'm crying even. No one died, no one's sick, as far as i know all thoes nearest and dearest to me are healthy and fairly happy. I've been reading Sisterhood of the Travelling pants, but thats not the reason i'm crying, i haven't evn gotten up to the sad bit yet! The reason i mention it is coz of a line in the book "They were the kind of tears that came when she was just too full." For some reason thats how i feel now, full. Plus crappy coz i have a headache from all the sniffying and hungry coz i haven't eaten and i can't leave my room coz i look like crap and i don't want people asking me if i'm OK, and me having to tell them i'm fine. I can't even articulate what's wrong. It started, i think with my phone stopping working last night, even though its fine now, and culmianted in what i'm calling the "blog incident." What upset me most is that i've upset people. I;m always doing it, giving out my opinions and offeneding people and i hate it, and i hate myself for doing it. I don't want to isolate people, or segregate people, or ruin anything that may have just been about to take off, but thats what i feel i've done. I feel that i've copped all the flack for anything that was done against the 1st years for the entire year. That, for some reason, everything is my fault. I don't want it to be my fault. I just want to be me and for people to like me. I hate this

posted by Super_Hot_Mel @ 8:53 pm 0 comments